Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
