Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
