Need sex. Gaining weight.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
