He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
