No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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