So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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