I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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