i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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