It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
