If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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