You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
