this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
