I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
