every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
