who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
