Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
