my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Enjoy the penises
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
