my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
