I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
