I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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