at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
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