idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
