Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
