my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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