Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
