everyone is single if you try hard enough
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
