Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
