I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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