everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
