well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I have feelings that need drinking.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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