Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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