I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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