god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
