I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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