Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
