dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
