nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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