i permit you to call me
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
