was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
