Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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