You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
