oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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