I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
