got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
