Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
