Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
