operation harelip BJ is a go
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
