Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
