Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
