He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
