Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
