i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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