my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
