Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
