sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
